Fin

Worm diet finished. No sign of life form. Dig it. Now that I've successfully completed the program as zlatko's guinea pig and came out alive and well, Zlatko will now pick up where he never started.  Good luck friend. You're our last hope for filth and disgust.

Day 11

I'm slowly weening myself off of the diet. Don't panic! I'm sticking to the thick of it...rice, fish, chicken, vegetables. But I have been expanding the limits and eating other things in addition to the foods previously listed. Other fruits, cereal, a couple Hershey Kisses, maybe a slice of pizza... So I guess it's not weening so much as integrating. I'm still taking the supplements along with it, and so far, no alien sightings to date. Either these things are deeply impacted in the caverns of my guts and refuse to budge, or I'm untouchable. The blog's URL is I wish a monster would. Seems to me like a monster wouldn't dare. #cocky #knockonwood

The weekend

The weekend was a test of strength...and my weakness got a little bit of the best of me. I deviated from the diet a bit by  consuming fried chicken Saturday night, and a few bowls of cereal throughout the rest of Saturday and Sunday.  In doing so, I found no changes in the results of this ongoing experiment. Zlatko thinks I may have just breathed a little bit of life back into the would-be starved cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers, but I beg to differ. So far, no trace of said C.H.U.Ds, so I'm beginning to think the diet may be more of a guideline than a must. That's how I'm gonna justify it if I slip up and deviate from the diet again anyway. Halfway through. Get some.

Lack of Zlatko

Lack of Zlatko sucks for everyone, I know. The reason is that I got sick as a monster that lurks inside of Fordosi. I kept the diet up for a few days but stopped taking the doses, but then stopped altogether because I needed various forbidden things to quell my sickness. Also, I needed to distinguish between being sick and having some sort of side effect to the program. I'm finally getting out of this terrible state of temporary death and closing in on reality. I'm proud of Mike for continuing this regimen and hope to finish mine in the near future.

*Standing in solidarity*

Cinco

Day two of double dosage in the books. Findings of any changes or effects are negative.  On another note my little sister (AKA Sam) is finding joy in my misery. Last night when I was cooking dinner she proceeded to mock me in a whiney condescending tone "oh look at mike and his organic foods" as she scarfs down doughnuts and pizza. Weasel. Then today she swindled me onto breaking one of the pills open and trying it without the plastic capping. After attempting to chug down a gulp of the grotesque water/pill powder concoction, The disgusted face I made along with my sickened reaction to the filthy swamp like solution, was enough to keep her laughing for an extended period of time. This was by far the worst idea she's ever had, and I told her so.  It's so nice to have family support.
Side note: I'm getting tired of not being able to eat whatever I want. Straight up white whine.

Day 4

Dosage doubled.  2/3 down for the day. No noticeable effects. I'm beginning to think a. this program is a hoax, b. I'm as healthy as a horse, or c. both.
I attempted to channel my inner Taiwanese last night in an attempt to make chicken fried rice for dinner. It didn't turned out quite as expected, not bad, but a bit bland. Taking into consideration my limited food allowances at the moment...I think if I tinkered with a few ingredients... I could very well open a Kung Fu dojo. Will keep you posted.

2-3

Feeling pretty good so far. No new findings/changes as of yet. I've been eating radishes today and found they have a bit of a burning sensation to them when eaten by themselves. Also I think the first thing I'm gonna eat when this is over is a big ass Cinnabun. It's been 2+ days without sweet foods, and I'm itchin. Tomorrow we up the Paragone dosage. Shit's about to get real son...

Zlatko's Day One

Day one was yesterday, January 7th. Conveniently, I get sick right before I start. Have a bad head cold and possibly a sinus infection for the first time in my life. Can't tell if my body hates the diseases or the diet.

3 doses. 0 parasites to report.

I've discovered some interesting things diet-wise from this thing. One, there are a bunch of different types of pastas that are not made of wheat flour. Brown rice spaghetti isn't bad at all. Also, rice milk is dope. I'm going to buy this stuff long after the regimen.

Chicken, pasta, apples, chamomile tea and rice milk... and tons of water. A lot of peeing. Starting to chill around the house with the zipper down at this point.

My take

For documentation purposes, I figured I'd throw my reasoning for going along with the regimen out there as well. I saw a twitter post by a random kid from Boston talking about how this Paragone treatment made him feel much better after feeling lethargic for months. I happened to catch the tweet in my own personal state of lethargy and impulse-bought the kit on the spot. Seemed like a cool challenge, probably healthy, and potentially scary. Big fan of all of those things.

Instead of doing the full 30 day cycle (2 kits), I convinced my man Mike to do it with me. 15 days each. I probably don't have parasites. Mike definitely does.

Day One

Done. Nothing crazy to report yet. I had plain yogurt for the first time today. I'm convinced its just sour cream. I like sour cream, so I finished eating it. I'm also testing my culinary skills and  experimenting with my limited ingredients. And I gotta say, these worms are getting better last meals than death row inmates.

Battle Plan

Yo, we should both totally do this. You especially. 

This was the subject header to the email that launched the plan into action. My good friend, loyal Hand, and co-author Zlatko, pitched the idea of finally launching an all-out offensive on the parasitic organisms that I, without any solid evidence, assume have brought back home with from my many travels to and fro. From Latin America to Asia, and 20 or so of the United States of 'merica, I've trekked through various terrains, hung out with all kindsa people, and indulged in a variety of delicious, yet questionable delicacies. So, it's hard to say where I might have acquired these grotesque little freeloaders.  It could've been the all-inclusive buffet in which food sits out in open air for hours at a time in Mexico, or the unwashed fruit given to me by a tour guide in China. Maybe the cockroach surprise beef noodles in Taiwan, the native treat wood worm I slurped down in the Philippines, or the freshly-caught-at 6a.m.-but-sat-out-all-day-until-I-bought-it seafood feast in Malaysia (it couldn't have been this one though...the food poisoning I got surely cleansed my system from any hop-ons...right?). 

So after years of speculation and numerous Monsters Inside Me episodes, it's time to take action. I'll admit I was skeptical at first.  I'm not an unnatural dietary supplement kind of person. I prefer getting all my nutrients the old fashion way...dining and dashing at local restaurants.  But Zlatko asked me to do it.  And after hesitating and being asked a couple more times, I sacked up and hopped on board.  I don't know if he brought me in because he cares about my well being, he knows I'm almost always down to try whatever with him, or because he's really curious to see what kind of creatures are harboring in my intestines.  Either way, I'm cool with it. 

Which brings us here. We're documenting the next 15 days of the experiment for your viewing pleasure. And by that I mean you'll have something to read while not working at work. So with a combination of system cleanse/parasite terminator, Paragone, and a switch up of dietary habits (chicken, fish, rice/beans, veggies, green apples, lemons/limes, almonds/almond milk, yogurt is pretty much all we get to eat) I'm hoping to rid myself of any deep down demons, feel rejuvenated and energized, and open up vacancies for another round of creepy stomach crawlers to inhabit my intestines for my next 30 years. So join Zlatko and I on our adventure, as we go from:

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